Berger Leaves Kerry Campaign

A good one from Scrappleface

(2004-07-21) -- Samuel R. "Sandy" Berger, former national security advisor to President Bill Clinton, today left the presidential campaign staff of John Forbes Kerry, after "a thorough frisking and examination of his briefcase."

The premature departure follows the announcement of an FBI probe of Mr. Berger on allegations that he stole classified documents from the U.S. National Archives.

"We're sad to see our trusted friend, Sandy Berger, leave the Kerry-Edwards campaign," said Mr. Kerry, "But we're glad to have a chance to recover some items that had gone missing while he was here."

Mr. Kerry, who is also a U.S. Senator, said the search of Mr. Berger's person and effects turned up the only existing copy of a missing Kerry-Edwards document called "Our Unshakable Beliefs" which Mr. Berger had accidentally misplaced in his left ear.

In his defense, Mr. Berger said, "the document was quite small, and I think it just stuck to my fingernail and then got lost in my ear hair. It's a sloppy mistake that anyone could make."